


Not So Charming

by krisherdown



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 22:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1444600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krisherdown/pseuds/krisherdown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick presumes any woman who’d date Ovechkin must be a pretty face with a low IQ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Charming

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing in hockey fandom but longtime tennis fandom writer (in fact, a fan of Kirilenko's but this fic isn't really about Alex and Maria).

Patrick would be the first to say that he’s not exactly the most attractive guy on the planet. He knows that a combination of actual hockey skills and faking social skills have led to what success he’s had in the bar scene.

It’s because of his comfortability with his appearance that makes him reasonably confident when saying that Ovechkin would have zero appeal to the ladies without hockey and the money that’s come with it. He’d presume that any long-term prospect for him must be a pretty face with a low IQ. The first pics he sees of Ovechkin’s girlfriend are from a swimsuit photo shoot so it seems that certain stereotypes are holding true.

Patrick doesn’t realize that he might be a little too focused on this until one day he’s hanging out in Johnny’s apartment. Johnny is laid out on the couch reading a totally pretentious French magazine while Patrick has been surfing the internet for highlight film of the Capitals but keep getting distracted by couple-y photos of Alex and Maria's Christmas together. Johnny says, "Are you seriously looking to Alex for _dating tips_?"

"What, you don’t think I could snag a girl like her?" Johnny doesn’t make a sound but his expression even partially hidden by a magazine makes it clear it’s more of a silent chuckle. Patrick glares at him, then closes his laptop. "Why not?"

Johnny says blandly, "He has that Russian charm working when it comes to Russian women."

"Not very smart Russian women, clearly."

"You do know he isn’t dating a model, right?"

Patrick reopens his laptop and reverts back to the screen. He walks over and holds one Christmas pic up in front of Johnny. "Seriously? You don’t call this a model?"

"She also has an Olympic medal, which Alex can only wish for."

"What?" Patrick sits back down with the laptop, typing in her name. After a minute of reading her Wikipedia page, his eyes widen. "Okay, so this Maria is a real tennis player who is not hurting for money. How did you know that?"

"You think you’re the first person to wonder about them? I was just repeating Sid’s exact words, though I sincerely hope he didn’t say it that way around Malkin."

"Back to the original point. You don’t think I could accomplish that?"

"I don’t know how else to put this but, no. Not without throwing your money around, anyway, as you seriously lack charm in _any_ language."

Patrick frowns at the idea but then smirks when he asks, "Are you going to claim that you have charm based on the fact you speak French?"

"I wasn’t going to say anything of the sort," but Patrick would be willing to bet that Johnny would totally want to agree on that point once he finds a way to build the argument.

Sensing this, Patrick opts for distraction.  "After all, it’s totally not charming when you’re speaking to your mother and having to apologize for not calling her for a few days."

Johnny pauses as if trying to figure out the angle, doesn't see it initially so pretends to continue reading.

"…or when you want to give a girlfriend bad news and you say it in French first before giving the English version."

"It helps get the nerves out," Johnny mutters.

"…or when you’re talking in your sleep and…" Johnny drops the magazine as if it’s a hot potato. Patrick smiles triumphantly as he stands up and stations himself in front of Johnny and his couch. "You did realize I’d learn some French eventually. One night, I recorded what you were saying in your sleep and tried to figure it out."

"Pat…"

"I admit it was flattering to realize that you liked the mullet because it was good for pulling on. If that wasn’t enough incentive to grow it out again, I don’t know what is."

Johnny sits up, his hands getting fidgety. As if he wouldn’t mind testing this theory right now. "We’ve been hooking up on and off for years. Why are you only now telling me this?"

"I didn’t think you wanted to admit to… any of what we were doing. That it was a fun thing we did when we were roommates… or getting drunk… or celebrating.  We spend so much time together in a rather couple-like sort of way - even teammates claim we're like an old married couple - but it didn’t seem to mean more to you."

The silence from the other end makes Patrick as nervous as Johnny looks. Finally, Johnny says, "You’re right. I… should tell you the truth. It’s just…it’s bad news," but there’s a hint of a smile forming. Finally, he says, "Je t'aime."

Patrick picks up the magazine and whacks Johnny in the arm with it. "You are seriously such an asshole sometimes," but leans in to kiss Johnny and whispers, "Je t'aime."

"See, I totally have charm."

 


End file.
